Erin Gloria Ryan shouldn’t expect a courtesy call from Anthony Scaramucci — not after her caustic critique of the new White House communication’s directors three books.

She writes in The Daily Beast: “For the purposes of self-excellence-massaging, I read the first and third, because I’d rather jump naked into the East River and float until the acid consumes my bones than read any more about hedge funds.”

Ryan’s 1,000-word smackdown took no prisoners:

“Scaramucci’s writings are the sort of tepid airport business reads that are so aggressively meaningless and derivative that they make the reader worse at writing, and possibly worse at thinking. They invoke the feeling of being in an apartment that has been occupied by the same tenant for a year but remains decorated only with a Scarface poster over a lumpy black futon.”

But for the sake of reader curiosity, she listed some of Scaramucci’s best quotes (now full of irony):

  • “Keep your negative emotions to yourself.”
  • “Watch ‘Mad Men.’ They figured it out and drank lunchtime martinis, too.”
  • “We expect our marriages to be like sitcom TV, but far more Huxtable than Bundy.”

By the end, Ryan has a suggestion.

“Somebody should make a movie about a heroic White House communications director who convinces his boss to step down, just to see what would happen,” she says. “All I ask of that screenwriter is to please keep the autofellatio references to a minimum. America has suffered enough.”

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.